Azula's pain
by xlollx
Summary: when azula needs to deal with her pain she turns to alcohol, its realy bad and I didnt spend enough time on it, and I suck at summaries I've had this idea for a while now : Iroh and Azula not incest should I do another chapter?


Azula

why did this happen? How could this happen? How could I sink so, I stood, looking into my bedroom mirror. I had been released from the mental institution a year ago my mother believed in me he never gave up hope, I love him for that, but I can't let everything go a part of me still hates him no matter how much I try not to.

I hated my reflection I had been so strong, that was what my father taught me, but now... I just see a lost confused little girl. I just was so angry, all the time but... The fire had died down, I could not speak out, the sparkle in my eye left the day before I was going to be crowned fire lord. I had enough, I finally snapped. From then on I didn't care what happened to me.

I knew I still wasn't better every once in a while I still see my mothers dissaproving gaze. Straight at me, stareing into my soul serching for my weakness, but that does not matter anymore... according to her I was a monster wasn't I, she thought i was so guillible. I had to prove it, I had to prove to everyone that I was strong, I can beat this... depression I know I can it would just take a little time would it not?

But I still can't get rid of the memories after Zuko was bannished father just kept hitting me for EVERY little thing this probaly caused me to crack, if I did not get a firebending move right he would hit me with his fist. If I dared talk back to him or show my opinion he would burn.. or even hit me with lightening. So why after i endured all that... I finally cracked when I was going to become the new firelord... stress maybe but I doubt I would be that weak.

So then I had to get rid of all the bad memories, just escape all the tortures.. even just for one miniut. so I decided to walk-run to the kitchen which was at the other side of the palace, I was panting already? I didn't know I was so unfit I supressed a laugh who thought I would sink so low, to do this, still It didn't matter. It would be alright soon.

I entered the kitchen I opened the cubard, thank agni it was 2 am otherwise I might get caught. I then pulled out a bottle of sake, then half a bottle of rice wine I just hope I can drink at least 1 bottle, I then got a glass, I'm still civalised after all. I then sat out side on the bench where my mother used to sit. Then I just proceeded to drink my troubles away and believe it or not it worked! Well for now anyways. I finished the bottle of sake and by this point I was obviously drunk I had a glazed look in my eyes and i was slouching.

Still I realy don't know how drunk I was, because I didn't say a word and I didn't attempt to walk at all. I heard footsteps, I wasn't ready to be caught... not like this! Oh Shit! I tried to sit up in a more lady like manor but It obviously did not work instead I nearly fell of the side of the bench... okay at least I was sober enough to realise that i was... well.... hammered. I just prayed It wasn't Zuko would her realy want to see his fifteen year old sister this way? Using alcohol to take the pain away?

Someone was walking towards me but who was it??! My vision was too blured to see anything it definatly wasn't zuko.. someone shorter and fatter.. Oh agni it was uncle Iroh which is worse than Zuko! What did I do to deserve this! Oh well bad question but never mind... Oh my I'm rambling... I'll just shut up now...

He sat next to me he had a slight smile on his face (or was I halluciating again) I bowed my head down in shame how could he see me like this? I instantly regretted everything. I could only sigh and wait for him to scold me or tell some crap joke...

Intead he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a tight embrace... he hasn't hugged me since I was little it was actually very warming, well considering it was such a cold night... 'neice why have you done this' he seemed so dissapointed at me but so supportive. 'your 15 this is not healthy'. Right now I couldn't care less what my age was. ' I know' I replyed to drunk to say anything else I immediatly noticed how I was slurring. 'I just never realised you were in so much... pain, though I realise why' he said it with such... saddness did he actually care for me? he laughed a nervous laugh. I just kept looking at the floor then brought my knees up to my chest. 'you know we realy do love you, you know my and Zuko, your mother too' My form went stiff and Iroh noticed this... 'my mother thought i was a monster, she was too busy with Zuko to notice me' although I intended this to sound angry I just sounded so sad so... lost. 'thats not true your mother thought your father was turning you into a monster, and for a while, he succeded.' Then appeared an uncle I have never seen before his face was serious and solumn instead of his happy cheery demenor. ' But you have made some changes and we are proud of you.' Uncle was legendary for making people smile but now he finally made me smile. It wasn't a grin but a smile non the less.

'you look so much like your mother' he said it was obvious that he missed her they were very good friends. 'People have always told me I looked like my father' I said still slurring but very serious, but yet suprised. ' No you only look like him when your angry... I think its the eyes... but now they are... 'he struggled for words. ' they have lost their fire' I said bitterly. 'No they are much more softer... caring' while he said this I was in the middle of having a drink and spat all the liquid out.' Ha! Me caring, I would never have thought that!' I then i errupted in a drunken laughter and just could not stop and before I knew it uncle was laughing too you would not think we would have such a good laugh. The laughter slowly ended.

'You know I can imagine you very caring... you were such a pleasant baby' he ended by taking a sip of his tea.' why is he so obsessed with tea?! 'Seriously though Azula, do not choose this path it will only cause you so much misery.' Even though I was so pissed. I knew what he meant I saw his point. I nodded my head slowly with tears in my eyes thretening to fall. He realy did care after all. 'We better get you inside' He laughed I stood and immediatly sat down 'oh no' he offered a hand and I proceeded to walk with him although he was carrying me or than I was walking I was put in my bed and I immediatly fell asleep...

**Azula's pain** by ~xlollx

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